Who Ya Gonna Call?

It's freezing outside!!!! I sat in my long sleeve shirt, fleece pants and sleeper socks, covered under a blanket refusing to turn on the heat.... until now. I turned up the heat hoping to kick the heater on... but it never clicked on. So I did what any sensible person would do.... I called my sister. She used to live here... she could answer my question....

She laughed at me. She told me I was going to explode because I was pouring gas in my house. So I hung up with her, contemplated opening a window, and waited for the neighbor to get home. He finally came home and with icicles hanging from my nose, I asked him to come show me how to light my fire. I mean... pilot.

The first thing he said to me was "You didn't leave the cover off the front of the furnace for more than 10 seconds did you?" Me--- "Nooo... crap... why?" "NO reason" he laughs. **Nice... everyone makes fun of me while my toes are slowly falling off and my blood is turning to ice!**

Anyway he comes over and I hand him the candle lighter thing and he heads back to the furnace. He starts checking things out when I say.... there's a switch there on the side, but I didn't want to touch it cuz I didn't want to explode. He says... hmmmm.... and flips it on. Waaaaalaaaa the heater starts and I have heat!!! He just kinda looks at me like I'm stupid, and I reiterate.... "I DIDN'T WANT TO EXPLODE!!!!!" Again... the blank stare. Whatever. I'm feeling more like a dork. But, I'm a girl, I reason. I don't need to know this crap. He explains to me that most all furnaces are self igniting. What's that, I say. LIKE A STOVE he says. I can tell he's quite amused by my ineptness. So I thank him and send him on his way, besides I'm beginning to thaw so it's all good.

Note to self.... next time... try the switch.