People Suck.

Why I want to go into health care is beyond me. Ok... I like the gross stuff... I don't know why, but I do. I think checking out a cut that is down to the bone, and slashed through every layer of gunk until that point is pretty frickin cool. I also think that the way our bodies work is fascinating... however... the people.... the people suck!

I worked in a town about an hour away last week, and it is, I'm fairly certain, filled with the rudest most nastiest people in the world. Here are several snippets of some of the patients who felt the need to yell at me... and their conversations.... (and the colorful language is NOT edited... seriously.. this is how they were talking to me IN THE OFFICE at the FRONT desk!)

1. Him-- I ain't signing SHIT.
Me- Umm... sir... I need to get you to update your information for me
Him- No... HELL NO... if you wouldn't loose this stuff then I wouldn't have to fill it out every time I come in. YOU need to keep better track of what YOU do.
Me- Sir... (Drawing myself to my full height and peering over my glasses at him) I can assure you that I did NOT loose your paperwork. I know this because this is my very first day in this office. If you would like to continue to blame me that is fine, but the fact of the matter is, this needs to be filled out and the longer we argue about it the longer it will take before you are seen.

**really... it's ONE stinking form... sign your darn name and be done with it!**

2. Her-- No I don't have my insurance cards... I gave them too you last time.
Me-- I'm sorry but they are not in the computer, and I have nothing listed as your insurance.
Her-- Well it's under the social security number.
Me-- I don't have access to verify this insurance with a soc. number. I need your card.
Her-- Well I don't have it.
Me-- Well, that's fine, but just so you are aware you will be held responsible for this visit until you bring me in a card.
Her-- YOU'RE SHITTING ME
Me-- No... no... I can assure you I am not.
Her-- Fine... send me a F*&#$ing bill.

**really? like it's MY fault you don't have your stuff together? And besides you're in a HEALTH CARE FACILITY... bring your dang HEALTH CARE CARD! duh**

3. Me-- No, as I said earlier the information is not complete.
Them-- Well I just completed it last time.
Me-- No... I'm looking at the list of documents, and it is not in here.
Them-- Then YOU Lost it!
Me-- No, I did not lose it. This is my first day here and I can assure you I did NOT lose your form. However if you just fill this out...
Them-- I am NOT filling this out. I already did this YOU need to get a pair of GLASSES!
Me-- Sir... I can assure you that these little frames on my face, are not just for fashion.


**Perhaps YOU need the glasses moron... cuz mine are right on my face!**

and finally....

4. Him-- The hell you do! You don't need that from me!
Me-- Umm... yes... yes I do.
Him-- I ain't never had to fill one out before!
Me-- Umm... yes, yes you have your old one on file here.
Him-- Then use that one!
Me-- I can't. This form must be updated each year.
Him-- BULLSHIT!
Me-- Sir, this is a document that is regulated by the federal government. The FEDERAL government states that I need to have this form updated by you, the patient, each and every year. Now, if you will just look with me here, at the calendar, you will see that today is JANUARY 8, 2009. It just so happens that the last form on file for you is from JANUARY 2008! Therefore, this is a new year and it is MY job, as mandated by the government, to ask you to fill out this form.

**Yes... I live to get up and make your life miserable by hiding your forms, and making you fill out new ones. Seriously... like I have time for this!**


Her-- You're very pretty
Me-- Ummm... thanks
Her-- No problem... I'm really vain, so I notice these things, they're important to me.
Me--- Ummmmm K. ?

**Because apparently being vain makes you the foremost authority on beauty**

**sigh** this is the world we live in folks..... lol