The World.... According To Me....

I had an interesting conversation today with a friend. She's going through a rough patch and we were chatting about people in general. She made the statement about living right, and doing what is right, and yet still getting crapped on. She asked me why exactly that was and my response... prolly not the best, but my honest response none the less.... "Because... you're nice and they're not." We went into it a wee bit more, and I explained myself, like I will here in a few minutes, but the gist of the convo was that crabby people rule the world and nice people don't.

After I left her statement bounced around in my head for quite a while. "Soooo... we're all just destined to end up jaded and bitter, right?" And it got me thinking... are we? I mean if you look at life, we all know the person, the crab ass that somehow, someway has managed to get everything! And I mean Ev-Reee-Thhhaaaang. They have the job, the money, the house, the perfect life, the man, the woman, whatever yet, they are downright miserable people. And by miserable, I don't mean in their own head, I mean miserable to be around.

So I started taking inventory. I mean... most of these people got to where they are by simple manipulation. Well, either that or whining enough until they get their way. Then of course there are the people who actually give them their way time and time again, which inevitably just reinforces their crappy attitude. It's a crazy ball of dysfunction.

So the question still stands... are we destined to end up bitter and jaded? I mean I've been called Pollyanna a time or two in my day, and I do tend to lean toward the rosier side of life, so does that mean I'm going to get stepped on and broken? What I think, is that it all boils down to a choice. There comes a time in everyone's life where they get to choose to be Pollyanna or Crabbyanna. Perhaps it's in the little choices day by day, or perhaps it's in one catastrophic event. Either way an active choice gets made.

Now, there have been plenty of times that I have jumped on the jaded ban-wagon. I mean I think, I am quite honestly one of the most cynical people you will ever meet. Not my most attractive quality... but it keeps me on my toes, and well.... safe. There have been many times in my life when I have felt literally beaten up and left for dead by everyone that was important to me. **Sidebar... it is kinda interesting how everyone has the uncanny ability to get on your case all at once, no? I mean... what's up with that? Do you all have a phone tree I don't know about?***

There have been times, and I can distinctly remember two in particular, where I made a conscious decision to not become a Crabbyanna. I was watching someone who was... and still is... a miserable person get her way everytime I turned around. And it pissed me off. Part of me wanted to just cold cock the chick, and the other part of me wanted... well... no... I pretty much just wanted to beat the tar out of her. Grant it, there were plenty of people around who wanted me to call her out but... I didn't. I took a lot... and I mean a LOT of grief for that one.

But the fact of the matter is... to turn around and beat the snot out of her makes me no better than she. Quite frankly, it would have been very easy to stomp on her and move right on my way. But at what price? The price of selling myself out? I don't think so. Maybe I am a doormat, maybe I am just a naive, stupid, little girl but I simply could not be so completely vicious to another person, just to pull myself up one rung higher on the corporate or social ladder. To manipulate my way into something that I can't gain with my own good looks and charm just isn't worth it. Sure I may end up rich, I may end up "Happy," or whatever else, but I just wouldn't be able to live with myself!

I'm not saying this to say "oooh wow look at me I'm perfect" because, while I am.... now is not the time. ; ) I'm saying this because it's easy to get depressed and it's easy to become a miserable person to be around. Heck, each time life kicks you in the chin it gets a little bit easier to stay down and stop fighting. But each and every day we have a choice to either become a martyr and feel sorry for ourselves, or we can suck it up. Quite frankly my motto, Pollyanna be damned, is "Life sucks, then ya die." Cuz it's true. Life DOES suck, and we DO die. However, we only get one shot at life, and I'm going to live it the best way I know how. You may think I'm a push-over, and you may think that I take more crap than what I need to. But in my head... the way I see it, is... the person that is making my life extremely hard at this exact moment is obviously more troubled than me. That girl, or guy, is always going to be an idiot, and I can't control their behavior. What I can control is my behavior and my response to their behavior.

I may not loan them the 50 bucks they need anymore because it's enabling their behavior, and I may turn and walk the other way when I see them so that I don't even put myself in a situation where I have to make a decision. I can waste time brooding about how stupid they are, but it's not going to change them, it's just going to make me miserable. So I do, what I think is best for me. What would make ME proud to be ME. And, however unfortunate it is... my choice is to just be nice. Maybe when I'm 50 that will change. Heck maybe after marriage number 7 that will change.

So what have we learned here today?

A) Life sucks, then you die.

B) Don't be a Crabbyanna.

That's the world, according to me... really... it's not that hard.