Pollyanna Syndrome

There are a lot of people in my life that I converse with on a regular basis. They are vastly different, and fascinating all in their own way. There is the co-worker who used to live in a cult, there's the co-worker who is living with her ex-husband, and has been for 15years. --Longer than they were actually married-- There's the girl who isn't married but has lived with her man for 20+ years. There's the new mom, the pregnant mom, the newly divorced mom, all kinds of people and all kinds of stories.

At this point in my life, my friends range in age from 15-55. Oddly enough it seems that the people I converse with the most is the group in their 40's-50's. Crazy I know. The common thread here that I am finding is broken hearts, questions, thoughts.... all concerning love. It's on the tip of their tongues, it's questions that we all have, yet here's a 45yr old woman bearing her soul to me identifying the same love issues that I struggled with when I was 21!!!

I have to admit, it's not encouraging. I had kind of hoped that as I got older I'd figure out the answers. One gal blurted out today "Am I unlovable.... " and she was serious. Another chatted about how she and her husband don't kiss goodbye anymore when he leaves for work. One gal I work with has been in tears for the last month over a boyfriend that they broke up, but he still comes around long enough to smile, tell her she's beautiful and leave her in a heap crying on the bathroom floor. I mean seriously she's in her 50's, and still has the same issues I had when I was 21!!!! It's crazy the common thread going on here.

I'm not sure what it all means, but this is what I've gathered. First off, is this what is out there? Is this what I have to look forward too? The rest of my frickin life wondering if a guy actually likes me or not? I think I'll pass. Second, what's up with the marriages? Is is natural that love just kinda falls by the wayside and dies? Is it normal that you just go from vavava voom, to vavava..... meeeh?

I think not. Perhaps I'm stupid, perhaps I'm naive, and certainly being the divorce` I am in no shape to give advice. But here is what I choose to believe. I think if it's real, there won't be a question about it, not on his end or yours. I think that if it's real 10,20,and 30yrs down the road you're still going to want to jump his bones as much as you did the first time. Sure you may be hunched over from osteoporosis, and he may have to take a Viagra... but you've still got it. I think that it's completely natural, if it's real, that 10,20, even 30 years down the road you can be doing dishes and catch his eye and still get a little flutter in your stomach. It takes work, lots and lots of work from two people... but it can happen!

Granted.... I didn't make it past the 10 year mark, but I'm just saying. I watch people. I watch couples, good and bad, and I take it all in. I don't think it's unrealistic to shoot for these things, and I think it's a rare and unique gift to find someone who fits you like that missing puzzle piece. And when you do find that person and you're smart enough to recognize it, I hope you treasure it because it is... just that rare! This is what I choose to believe. Call me Pollyanna, call me naive.` But this is it. I refuse to accept anything less. (For now... contact me in 7 years when I'm socially starved for attention, and I may reconsider)

I call it the Pollyanna Syndrome, and for now... it's all I've got.

Thoughts?