I went to buy a pair of jeans today at the fat store today. This is what I call the store (Thank you Will and Grace) and I will continue to call it that because... I shop there, so that allows me the freedom to call it what I will. Anyway, I haven't bought a pair of jeans off the rack at a regular old store since 2000. Mostly becasue they're all just too dang short. All I wanted today was a pair of jeans exactly the same as the last pair I bought from this particular store. I've shopped there since 2002 buying jeans that are perfect. PERFECT I say! I need them tall, I need them flared and I need them in a specific size. Most women can relate to the burden of jean shopping. They're either cut to tight in the thigh, or to big in the waist (So that when you sit there is a HUGE gap showing off your your granny panties) or they're so low you might as well just don the dress that Britney was wearing and go sans undies.
So I walk in and go to the section where I last found the perfect jeans. And.... there was all these weird sizes. There were 1's, 2's, etc etc. Let us remember this is the fat store, so why exactly are there 1's and 2's here? I just wanted my normal size. So I ask the girl which one was for this particular size and she's all... Oh noooo... we can't just tell you which ones they are. We've resized everything and they're made to fit based on your measurements, so we'll have to measure you. Fine.... I say, I'm getting irritated cuz I'm in a hurry but whatever. So they measure me, and tell me I'm a size 1.
Ok... here's the newsflash. We fat girls, know we're fat. Ok? I am after all in a store specifically designed to carry clothing for fat bottomed girls. I get it. Now, it's just insulting to tell me I'm a size 1. HELLO. If I were I size 1 I'd be Abercombe, dumba$$. What??? It's not enough that you make a store specifically for me and put it right across from the Hollister store where I get to watch what used to be me run in and out of there? Now you have to pacify me with a fake size? LOL. Anyway. I take my size 1 and put it on. I immediately ascertain that this is NOT the jean that I had before. It says it is, it's the same brand, the same color, the same length, the same style... but my friends, they've cut the waist different. How you ask, LOWER. Now tell me, why have you not only made your jeans a size ONE which insults the fat girls intelligence, but now you've taken the waist that used to hide my fat post child-incubating belly and made them so that they button barely above the c-section scar, forcing all the belly fat up and OVER the top of said jeans like a really good bustier... only in a really, really, REALLY bad place. **Sigh**
So I try on several cuts, sizes, and whatnot only to have the sales lady tell me... "I really wouldn't purchase those, they just look too big." Yeah, to BIG!!! You see they cut them super low then put all this extra material from the zipper down through the thighs. It's bad. It's really bad. Anyway I thanked the sales lady for her honesty and said "So basically what you're telling me is that I'm now officially to skinny to be fat, and to fat to be skinny? I'm either going to have to eat more burgers to shop here, or more salads to shop there." as I pointed across the hallway. She smiled and said "Yup."
This my friends, is my life.... this little shopping trip... it's a metaphor for my whole freaking life! I am alas, a woman without a store.... or a pair of jeans for that matter! LOL.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
I did know that THIS STORE was going to the new sizes, but I haven't been in there for a while to try them out. UGH! Why do they always change a good thing? How annoying! I mean if something isn't broken, than why fix it?
EXACTLY!!!!!! Thank you for agreeing! lol. Actually I did find some jeans that have normal sizes in the store, but they didn't fit as well as the others. **Sigh**.... If only WE ran the world!
At first I laughed at your little story...and then I cried, b/c at some point I need to get some good-fitting jeans from THE STORE, and I will have to experience the size 1, 2, and 3. ARGH! I have been told that 1's are extremely hard to find around here, so be glad you found some where you are. But seriously, it's almost patronizing to call it a size 1...like you said, we fat girls are not in denial and actually BELIEVE we are a size 1 or 2. We know what size we are, and it works. Why change it?
Amen sister! lol
Oh boy, I can so relate with the whole c-section scar issue and all. It's ridiculous!
Post a Comment