So I got some news today, and I'm so excited!!!! This certain guy has told the neighbors that he has decided that I am going to go through 5 different men, working out my bitterness after the divorce. (I'm not sure how he came up with that number, perhaps he's clairvoyant....) And he's decided that he's going to wait. That was his announcement to the neighbors... He's going to wait... For me.... To work my way through these 5 different men. And after that, we will live happily ever after. LOL...
This man... my betrothed... if you will...
His name...
Homeless Pat...
And like the name implies...
he's homeless.
Sometimes he lives in my neighbors garage when her husband hires him on to do roofing work, but overall.. homeless... homeless as the squirrel that was trying to break in my window today. And yes... that's another story, but I seriously watch a squirrel try to break in my window. I think it had thumbs. SOOOO Freaky. But I digress.
Homeless Pat... he's got this Albert Einstein thing going on with his head of wild grey hair, but it's like bald at the top.
He is nice though.
He made my sons first birthday cake. Apparently after suffering amnesia after some accident he took cake decorating classes as a form of therapy, and they came in handy when my son needed an Elmo cake.
One time... at band camp... Jeanne lost a picture that she had of us when we were out. It was a picture of all us girls just hanging out. We found the picture... in the garage... on the table... next to the chair... where Homeless Pat sleeps.
He disappeared once. Just for a while, and no one knew where he was. Turns out he was in jail. Anyway he showed back up at the neighbors house, and he was eating dinner and her 6yr old turns to him and says... "Pat... where have you been?" to which he replied "Well... I was in Jail." to which the 6yr old said.. "Why were you in jail Pat?" and Pat replied "Well.. the police came and took me away because I wouldn't EAT MY VEGETABLES!" and I swear that child hasn't skipped a vegetable since.
Soooo... he has a way with kids, that's a plus, right? Good with children... check...
Is it wrong that I take a little comfort in the fact that if no one else... at least Homeless Pat will have me! LOL.....
I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. Last weekend, Millionaire Hottie, this weekend... Homeless Pat. Talk about extremes. LOLOLOLOLOL
***Sigh*** it's good to be me!
Seriously... My life would make a GREAT sitcom!
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The millionaire Hottie I dated after my divorce was easy on the eyes, but definitly not for me. I never went to the extreme of a homeless guy, but something can be said for just an oridinary working man. The down-to-earth ones are the best.
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