Lemonade... Lemons....???

There comes a time in everyones life where they reach a crossroads.... I have reached that crossroads. I can choose to have a complete and total nervous breakdown (which I must say a few weeks respit care in a mental facility making paper mache` penguins does sound like fun) Or I can choose to cope and deal.

I'm trying the latter on for size... but I'm not promising any great results. I've often heard about people who have like one thing after another happen to them. Remember the story of Job in the Bible... kinda like that. I hear those stories and I wonder... how many life altering events can one squeeze into a short period of time without going absolutely crazy.

I think I've reached my limit.

Let me just give you a run down of the last WEEK. Yeah... I'm keeping this to a single week. As of ONE week ago TODAY... these are the twist and turns my life has taken.

It started with the X calling me up and demanding these last minute changes to the divorce papers. And when I say demanding... I mean... all out arms folded, heels dug into the ground, demanding. It was fun. And stressful. So I dealt with that on Thursday, also got word that the housing situation was moving forward. So I was very relived about that. Then somewhere someone took the rug out from under me... just for kicks I think.

So I go to work Friday, work my shift, get all my weekend stuff recorded, and no sooner do I step foot outside of the studio, but the boss calls me in the office. I swear I heard the theme to Dragnet when he called me back there... duh duh dum dum.... yeah.. .I knew. So they let me go, terminated my position and sent me on my way.

So at this point, not only am I in negotiations to purchase a home, but I am now, unemployed and getting a divorce in less than 5 days. It's all good... right? Cope and deal, cope and deal. Well... I made it through the weekend... barely then headed up to unemployment, FIA, etc etc. I needed all these forms signed, etc etc. Worked my way through that.

Tuesday, I find out that work wasted NO TIME in getting rid of any memory of me. I'm wiped off the website, off the program schedule, etc etc. I find out they hired a part time guy from KANSAS to do my work. He sits in Kansas records his voice and sends it over to the station. Woohoo.

Wednesday I get up and get ready to get a divorce. I move around the house all sappy and teary. Thinking about my wedding day, the fun of the wedding, the people I'm disappointing, the fun that the man and I had together. The good times in Mackinaw, the stupid things we'd laugh at, ya know... just replaying the last 10 yrs in my head. I head on up to the court house meet with the lawyer get everything settled and then in walks the man. He looks at the paper, finds something NOT in there that he wanted.... and a yelling match ensues. There is my husband, and my lawyer nose to nose in the courthouse lobby sparing over who's being belligerent and who is unprofessional. Meanwhile... I sip my coffee. I watch the people staring. I want to die. I think that possibly if I tried hard enough perhaps a mild stroke would befall me at that exact second. And I wait. Finally an hour later we have papers signed and the divorce is final. --sidebar.... it's so weird how in like 10 minutes you go from Mrs... to Ms. --

So just to recap... I'm now... unemployed, divorced, and purchasing a house.

So I head to Petoskey because I need a copy of the boys birth certificate to prove that he's mine. And I get that, grab my girlfriend for the ride up, and we planned a therapeutic trip to Joannes as well. Because there isn't a darn thing that a little bit of fabric can't solve! lol. So we get to Petoskey, get the birth certificate, and stop for lunch... and the car breaks down. Kid you not! MY CAR BREAKS DOWN. Not just a minor spark plug, or head gasket issue... no... my ignition switch is COMPLETELY broke. Can't start the car, can't move the car.

So I walk to the nearest gas station with a garage and I ask this kind man to help me. I start crying a little and I tell him... I'm sorry... I'm trying not to freak out here, but I can't get my car started could you please help me. So off we go. The crazy, verge of psychosis, divorce` and the nice greasy, garage man. Nope... no can do.

So now I'm an unemployed, divorce`, with a car that is broke down, who is purchasing a home.

Only... I get word that my home dealings have fallen through...

So now I'm an unemployed, divorce`, with a car that is broke down, who is no longer purchasing a home, and is stuck in a parking lot 1hr from home.

It was at this point that I reached my crossroads. Should I stand in a parking lot at Arby's and freak out with screaming and yelling, and throwing things. Or do I laugh? Either way I was looking at getting admitted to the local psych unit. So I laughed. I laughed hard.... and I cried.

So here's the conclusion... I can choose to be incredibly bitter over all that has happened with work. I can choose to dwell on the bad things that happened with my marriage. I can choose to be depressed about my housing situation. Or I can suck it up.

So I choose to think about the fact that at one time in my life... I was loved and in love. I choose to believe that, that will happen again... someday.... I think... I choose to dwell on the fact that a friend who I've only known for a short time, dealt with me having 2 nervous breakdowns in less than a week. She was there with me the day I lost my job, and she just let me do my thing. And supported me. Which means SO much. And I choose to dwell on the fact that the minute I made the call to my friends and said "HEY... I need you" they were there. All of them within minutes and without question. They carted my sorry butt to and fro letting me go through my minor self destructive phase, and keeping sharp... and blunt... objects away from me. One of my friends went so far as to call an old friend and say... Ummm... you may want to get over here, I think you're the only one who can bring her back from the brink. lol. They never showed... but then again... I think that's when you find out who your true friends are!

I also had friends who just got back from vacation... who I'm sure were still exhausted... invite me over, just to chat. Which was a welcomed distraction from my day. So to you two... I appreciate that more than you know. And thank you to the friend that showed up with money to cover our weekend vacation that had been planned for weeks and she said... here.. take it... we'll get through this. Don't worry. To you... I say... DANG I'm glad your my friend. (and sugar momma) I am so glad I met you, and so thankful you crashed my wedding all those years ago! :) I seriously don't know what I'd do without you. You telling me... "dodge and weave, dodge and weave. The world is crumbling around you, but dodge and weave!"

I'm sure I forgot people and their kindness. But I want you all to know I love you, and appreciate you more than you will ever know. I am overwhelmed at the kindness you all have shown me. Now this is not to say I'm not a raving, bitter lunatic... I am... but I'm trying to keep it in check.

I could freak out over the fact that I'm unemployed, but I've decided this is my chance to go into health care... because... I've always enjoyed the health care scene. I choose through all of this to say... it's ok. Because I have some of the greatest friends in the world who look out for me, and care about me. And they love me.... a little... I have a sister than can do the work of 3 men and fix a car that 3 MEN couldn't fix in 4hrs, she got it done in about 5 mintues, and I have a beautiful boy that tells me... "Mom... you're a princess." So call it denial... or wait for the breakdown, but I call it blessed!

Or temporary psychosis... take your pick.