Women

We women are multi faceted creatures. I don't know if it's compartmentalizing, self preservation, or merely a mild psychosis... but we are an odd breed.

Most of my life I've gotten along better with men then women. Simply because women, like it or not, are catty, and men... love it or hate it, they just kinda tell it like it is. I am a cut to the chase kinda a girl. I would prefer that you tell me that I am the most vile, disgusting, creature on the face of the earth, rather than be all nicey, nice and tell me that perhaps I should think about updating my wardrobe. Ok... perhaps I like a little more tact with my insults but still it's like ripping off a band aid... tell me, tell me quick, tell me honestly, and then let me deal. Like death, or disease... tell me "Hey, Joe died" or "Hey I have cancer" and then let me deal. Point is... I've always gotten along better with guys simply because I appreciate their boneheaded honestly. (Sorry guys...)

Of course there comes a time when hanging out with only men makes you look like a) a woman dealing with a severe identity crisis, or b) a woman looking for... uhhh.... companionship. lol. Scratch that... lets just say there comes a time when a gal just can't hang with the guys cuz it just looks a wee bit inappropriate. lol. I think that time comes when you hit about... 28. LOL. I'm not sure when it does, but my best guess is when all the guys get married, or you get married, or whatever.

THE POINT IS...

In recent years I have been spending more time with women. OK... the last 10yrs. Because a) I was in a serious relationship/marriage, and b) because hanging with men would of been... inappropriate... lol. In hanging with women, I have found myself becoming more... womanly. LOL... by that I mean emotional. And by emotional I mean weepy.

I swear I did not cry at a movie until I hung with women... who cried at movies, and made me read Suzannes Diary for Nicolas, or watch The Notebook. (my all time favorite romantic flick since Say Anything) I didn't really over analyze stuff, until I started hanging with women, and I didn't rightly care about SHOES until I started hanging with women. I haven't played basketball, since... 1996. Which... come to think of it... kinda sucks.

What I have learned is that women are multifaceted. We are a species that can cry like babies when we run over a cat, but we can prepare a whole chicken for dinner and not give it a second thought. We somehow manage to carry a kid on one hip, talk on the phone, cook dinner, help junior with homework, and clean the counters all at the same time. We get the dry heaves from cleaning out a mouse trap, but somehow manage to clean up the pile of puke our kid trailed from the couch to the bathroom when they didn't quite make it. It just doesn't make sense!

This weekend I manged to pull off a multifaceted feat of mammoth proportions... for me. I went to my best friends bridal shower, I didn't even begin to think that it might be hard for me, or anything like that. I mean I've met the man before, I talk to her all the time. I love her to death, and have never seen her so happy. I'm happy for her, for him, and for what they are about to embark on. No worries, right? I know it's perfect. They are truly meant for each other and I'm so proud that she didn't settle or put up with some of the dumbasses she dated. Ooops... did I say that? lol. I see a name... starts with the letter... J..... or is it a B.....

Anyway I show up at the shower, which is a little out of my comfort zone. It's a shower that when you walk in they ask... what kind of wine would you like? Then when you answer, red or white, it becomes this game... Ok we have chardonnay, merlot, etc etc. Personally... I just wanted a beer. LOL. I'm a beer girl. Maybe that's why I like guys... cuz guys drink beer. lol. But I sucked down a glass of wine because... it was a wine shower, and that's what women do. -apparently-

The part that sent me for a loop was the part where they were talking about how much my friend and her husband to be knew each other. Apparently when pulled apart and asked questions, they answered the way the other would and got 23 out of 26 correct. I know... total vomitous, right? (and yeah... I made up that word) But it sent me into crazyville for the rest of the day. Only because I immediately thought of my life, my relationships. And perhaps, because I haven't had a good freak out since the divorce and the time the freakout chose to appear was at my best friends wedding shower. WOOOHOOO.

There I sat, swallowing tears and smiling to everyone and really... just wanting to either a) Grab the nearest bottle of blaaa blaa wine and swig it, or b) just crawl under a rock and not come out. Mind you... woman or not, I can suppress tears with the best of them. So no one knew my situation. But I sat there thinking... wow... have I EVER known someone that well? Yeah... I think I have. Did my husband ever know ME that well? Absolutely not. In fact... if you asked him my favorite color, I think he'd be hard pressed to tell you. And that rolled into the whole, wow... I'm divorced. I did it. I'm alone. I'm unemployed. I'm starting school. I have no employment in my immediate future. I have to write term papers. I have no money. It's going to take 2yrs or more before I can finish school. I won't be a nurse until 2010, ok '09 at the earliest.

Ugggh.

So the lesson learned today A) I love list B) NEVER attend a bridal shower without xanax and C) I have achieved multifaceted-um. I can manage to breeze through a really anxious time, and smile and be gracious, and be 100% happy for my friend, and at the same time be 100% depressed about nothing to do with said friend. Maybe it's maturity, maybe it's a pity party, or maybe... just maybe.... it's the beginning of the healing process.

Or temporary psychosis.