Would You?

I had an interesting conversation the other day with a friend. We were discussing that Jim Carey movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind well... what we thought was the premise of the movie anyway. It's our understanding that Jim Carey was in love with Kate Winslet, and then when this love was taken away he went on to erase any and all memory of her because it hurt to still love her but not have her. Mind you... neither one of us have seen this movie this is just where the discussion began... with that premise.

The question was and IS for you all... would you? Would you if you could erase any and all memory of someone you love that you don't have because it hurts to much? Now this could be a spouse, a parent, a former flame, or a sibling, child, whatever. Someone you loved and had memories with... would you erase ANY memory of them.

My answer... I might.

It's weird. I have something from EVERY guy I dated more than like... 3 weeks. I have a goofy friendship bracelet from this guy in high school that took my on my very first date. (His parents chaperoned of course) I have a watch from the guy who took me on my first boy girl ALONE date. I have a cool looking bottle of rain (melted snow actually) and a broken arrow from a guy I dated in between my senior year and into my freshman year of college.--the bottle still sits on my TV stand incidentally-- Ok I know that one sounds weird... but actually it was quite possibly the most creative, thoughtful and in a weird way, romantic gift I've ever received and I love it so deal! :) --OH and it makes my sister break out into song EVERY time she sees it... which is amusing!--

I have the comb from my first fiance`. It's not a psycho thing, it's a passive aggressive thing. One day he grabbed my hand and took me into the bathroom and proceeded to lecture me for 15 minutes on how I did NOT put the comb in the proper place and if I HAD put the comb in the proper place that he wouldn't of had to look for it for 20 minutes before work. AND no other comb would do only his special comb. So when I left... I took it. I'd like to think he's had bad hair days ever since.

I have every flower that EVERY man ever gave one to me. I have every card that accompanied any flowers that my former husband gave me. I have a Hercules doll from a guy I dated whose nickname was Toughy.... ergo the Hercules thing.

I have lots of memories. I'm a memory girl. I have pictures and mementos and souviners. I'm the stupid person that says... wow the last time I was here I was with ____ and we _____ and it was ____. I somehow manage to remember just about EVERYTHING that happened with the people I loved. I think we all do.

There are 2 that I think I'd like to erase. It's not that I hate them. It's not that at all. You'd think I would want to erase the one that told me, when I left... "I don't know why you're leaving it's not like your attractive enough to date anyone else." You'd THINK I'd erase him for sure. But no... actually that was a very valuable learning experience. You'd THINK I'd want to erase the one who cheated his way all around town while gullible me was sitting at home keeping the special dinner I made warm. But again... super valuable learning experience.

No.... Most of the time I learn from my mistakes. I'm pretty good... I think at not making the same mistake twice. I think the 2 I would erase are the happiest ones. Is that weird? I mean... I have 2 people that I loved that made me for a time anyway... truly happy. And because of whatever reasons it didn't work. But those are the ones I'd like to erase. Which is sad because I really do have incredibly fond memories of those times but at the same time.... that sucks. I mean, it's easier to be apathetic then to relive a happy time, isn't it? And don't look at me like I'm stupid, even the 55 yr old office chick has a former boyfriend that died in vitenam that she still wonders... what if... about, if only for an instant! If you say you don't have someone like that then you're lying or only dated one person!

My friend said she wouldn't. She wouldn't erase ANYONE because each person served a purpose for a time to get them where they are today. Each person taught her a lesson. A lesson in trust, love, skepticism, self sacrifice... etc etc. She likes to relive the memory. Even of the one she still loves but will never have. (not loves like in a psycho Hey-look-at-the-boiling-bunny-on-your-stove-way-- but in a you-were-kind-to-me-and-I-will-always-love-you-if-only-for-that kinda a way) She still thinks about the good times with that guy. To which I replied... WHY THE HECK ARE YOU TORTURING YOURSELF???!!!!! and she said.... It's not torture. It's a fond memory. **cue Whitney Houston** He was good to me. He loved me, and I loved him... for a time. There were qualities that didn't make it work, and I'm going to take them... learn from them... and the next time I'll be wiser.

I said... ignorance is bliss.